


and would it have been worth it, after all

by tillwehavefaces



Series: The Hyacinth Boy [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Flash Fic, Internal Monologue, M/M, Not Beta Read, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 03:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17779340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tillwehavefaces/pseuds/tillwehavefaces
Summary: And was it inevitable, after all? Was it, I wonder? Was it inevitable from the first glance? The first word? The first kiss? Was it inevitable when he fucked me face-down, biting the pillow against the pain and the pleasure?





	and would it have been worth it, after all

And was it inevitable, after all? Was it, I wonder? Was it inevitable from the first glance? The first word? The first kiss? Was it inevitable when he fucked me face-down, biting the pillow against the pain and the pleasure? Was it inevitable when said he would burn my house down, and a thrill went through me that was not all of fear? Was it inevitable when the knife at my throat cut like a kiss, when the sting of the belt burned like a love-song, when his touch was fire to me, and light and life itself and a consuming cancer to which I became irretrievably addicted?

One thing I know: if that was inevitable, so was how it ended. So were these rattling handcuffs and the grey bars on the window and the weight of the world’s gaze that hangs like a noose around my neck.

God knows I didn’t want this. Well, I may have wanted it, but not in the way of having. And I know I didn’t want _this._ Mother and father furious, school disgraced, my own parents sick and disbelieving, the whole country outraged, it seems like.

And him, defiant, dazzling, ferocious as a wounded beast at bay—but heartbroken. I think that, too, was inevitable. I think I always knew this is how it would end. This is how it had to end, really. One never gets away with things. The universe rebounds like a bowstring released, and everything snaps back to order. The wheel turns, and you are broken upon it. The universe tolerates aberrations, for a time, but only for a time. Yes, this too was inevitable.

Yet we had one another, for a time. For a time, sometimes, we were happy. And if the happiness then is a part of the pain now, well, it was a price we paid. There always is. I will say that it was worth it. Despite everything, it was worth it, just the once, to be loved.


End file.
